Just Listen

Have you ever pondered the question…Why do some employees learn faster than others? Or why do some people pick up on things as if second nature and others well…not so much? This is something that has become a case study for me over the years. One that is mesmerizing to myself and, as I heard recently from a luxury store manager, to her as well. Here is what she asked: 

“What makes one employee so naturally apt to complete a job with little direction where another will miss the mark completely even after thorough explanation? It can be as simple as alphabetical order; one can complete putting something to SOP and one cannot. What in leadership does it take to develop an employee to not only be responsible for their behavior, but to open their mindset about how their behavior not only impacts their environment but also can open their growth. Leaders are not magicians. They use their environment to find their answers and that alone is the transition that an employee needs to make to grow from follower to leader.”

Let’s break down what she says. First of all, there is no bad way to learn. Let’s get that straight. Everyone learns differently based on several factors. Education, upbringing, experience and habits to name a few. It’s not up to the employee to know everything when they are first hired or in a position for a long time. It is up to you as a manager to ensure they are comprehending all information in a way that makes sense to them and that they are doing tasks to fulfill a specific purpose. I want to emphasize that leaders ARE NOT magicians or fortune tellers, but leaders ARE supposed to be adaptable to employee needs. Each employee you hire comes to you with a different work ethic and different set of values. These are two things we cannot teach a person, but we can push them into a different direction if needed.

I had two employees hired at the same time. They had the same back ground, but one ended up being promoted much faster than the other one and over time became a strong leader herself. Now some would say I failed the second one, but I am here to tell you that each had different levels of training designed just for them and specific to how they learned. The second one actually moved up the ladder herself…it just took a bit longer for her to understand the needs and wants of the business.

The truth of the matter is it takes an individual’s conviction to want to succeed. There is nothing you can do to make one person want something more than another. Sure, you can use a transactual philosophy, “I will give you this if you accomplish that.” Or you can watch and learn. A trial by error philosophy that helps you reach a more defined transformational approach. This approach helps the employee feel empowered to answer their own questions and take initiative in doing job tasks. The reward deeply depends on a sense of pride in job position and the motivation of accomplishing something for the team.

The next time you have an employee that is struggling at the most mundane of tasks, ask him or her why? Don’t tell them they are wrong or what they did wrong or reprimand them for not finishing on time. Talk to them and find out what the problem is. You may be surprised to hear that they just didn’t know how to do something and were afraid to ask for help in fear of disappointing you. That’s when you can say you failed. You weren’t adaptable to their needs. You didn’t listen to what they needed in order to accomplish the task at hand. 

Many managers would say, “I told them how to do it” or “I gave them the SOP binder to figure it out.” That just doesn’t work. You have to find a way to get them to understand what is needed on their own. It sounds silly, but if you are truly listening to them with an open mind, you will be able to approach their learning mindset in a way to make them find the answer themselves. Your leadership style has everything to do with the success of your employees and your business. It is up to you to develop an environment where your employees are part of the big picture. It is up to you to design an environment where an employee knows that what they are doing makes a difference. They need to understand that although you are the boss, they are the reason you still are the boss. They lift you up. Make it an environment where, as a team, your business is successful. Believe me, they will want to learn as much as possible to support you.

A Simple Theory

How many management decisions have you made all on your own? Do you seek the advice of others? Are you a trial-by-error type of manager? If you were able to answer any of these questions quickly in your mind, then you probably have a management philosophy. If you struggled to answer one and over thought the questions, then hopefully you are on your way to discovery. Don’t worry, it takes time. A lot of time.

 I am sure you were able to think of a name, past or present, to compare yourself to. I know I do. These answers helped shape how I have lead teams over the years. Many trial-and-error examples of leadership have shaped my development, some were awful and others mentor quality. All have encouraged me to find my own path to leadership and business success. 

There are the my-way-or-the-highway types. In the moment, you might believe they suck to work for, but after thinking about their strategy, you must realize they get it done. Their approach, well not admirable, it does have its advantages; to give teams a sense of urgency. This manager tells you exactly how it needs to be done without opening it up for discussion. They micro-manage you all the way through a project and will almost always take the credit for its successes (not the failure). This is called authoritarian theory. It is usually pushed as a hard deadline and it normally takes no prisoners in its efforts. 

Get it done. Do it their way. Move on. NEXT!!!! Many new managers take on this position because they don’t know any other way to define themselves as a manager. It is also used in managing those with time management struggles. It is tough, but it works. It may kill morale and it may make people not want to work for you. It will, however, help you with conflict resolution and insubordination. Two qualities needed in a strong manager.

Moving on.

In my experience, a democratic or laissez-faire style of leadership works best. At least it did for me. After spending most of my life running stores and maintaining strong tenure in teams, I found that those with strong knowledge, skills and abilities (KSA’s) in their roles are often the best. A no brainer, right? They are highly productive and share a willingness to make the overall success of a store a priority. They can be employees you mentored from part time or hired up externally. When this type of management team is at its best, the business runs itself. It’s magic and allows you the opportunity to work on things that really matter…your people. Which in turn builds on their KSA’s. See how this works?

It never happens overnight. It really takes time to discover the right people that will define the business. It takes initiative and a strong work ethic to build on relationships and build trust. It takes conviction and foresight to know what their end results will be. They must believe in your purpose, understand the why’s of difficult conversations and be willing to mold into the employee you encourage them to be. When this happens, it gives you the opportunity to involve them in the overall decision-making process. You encourage their feedback, you value their opinions and seek it out. This becomes part of your leadership style. It not only encourages growth in your people, but helps you define the type of leader who want to become. You will be building a reputation and gaining a level of respect with your team and peers. A win-win. It makes all the hard work worthwhile. A true democratic leader will put their people on a pedestal by showing the entire team as to why the store is successful. The goal is to watch them grow, develop others in your style and so on and so on.

Defining the type of leader you want to become takes a lot of practice, trials and tribulations and turn over. You will, however, grow with each experience. After all, isn’t that the whole point? If you aren’t re-discovering yourself as a leader with each new employee, then why are you managing people in the first place? Just a thought….

Leadership and Dissent

If you want to be a strong leader you have to have people around that challenge you and your opinions; push your buttons and speak up when they don’t agree with your ideas. Leadership and dissent are a necessity in the world of running a business. Especially in regard to running a store. I have witnessed many managers view those with differing opinions as a thorn in their side and oftentimes those employees were coached out of a job. Why? Because the “leader” didn’t like being second guessed. Seems oddly familiar, right?

Although it can be incredibly difficult to manage people who are constantly judging you and questioning your every move, it is important to remember that these people are not in your shoes and don’t always understand the gravity of certain situations. However, they are there to impact your thinking positively and push you to be a better version of yourself. You cannot have strong leadership without dissent. You just can’t. For anyone who says otherwise, they probably have never been in a leadership role or they have probably never had great leadership in their careers to relate to. Just because you hold a manager or business owner title doesn’t mean you are a true leader. Many people get that confused. A true leader inspires growth in position, personal development and encourages people to do and be the same for others.

So…how do you embrace the opinions? How do you find that special someone to have by your side that isn’t an ass kisser? Well, that’s a good question and one where the answer is…time. Many managers and business leaders will tell you, myself included, that an impactful dissenter is not hard to find, but hard to believe in and trust. Trust being the more important word. They can be a person that holds some authority in your business, or in my case, several sales associates that gave me honest feedback on a daily basis and I trusted them with certain decisions. Age never matters, as some of the wisest people I have had by my side are 15 years younger than myself. Thieir life experience has brought strong opinions and concerns to the forefront. 

These employees are not necessarily “sheep” in your stores’ world, but they do follow you. They believe in your purpose and maximize their efforts to support the business processes you have developed. They also share feedback when something is not working and have the courage to tell you when you are JUST PLAIN WRONG.  Every person in a position of leadership should have one. Two is best, but one is enough to right any path. Be careful!!! You never want to find yourself in a predicament where an employee is undermining your every move. They suck the life out of your business; you spend more time putting out fires from their impulsive mistakes and lack of judgment then empowering those same people to rise up and see the bigger picture. 

How do you differentiate? Again, time. The ugly truth always shows itself. Usually, they are the first to report you to a superior with exaggerations and falsehoods. They prey upon others to join their cause with a quid pro quo mentality. Often, they become the best of friends with newer managers or employees and use their influence to adopt a negative outlook of who is in charge. This type of dissenter has only one goal in mind…to have your title. They usually have never held a decision-making position and they feel wronged by you for some reason. It’s the “the grass is always greener” mentality. When their theatrics don’t play out, they usually leave. Yet another sad reality in running a business as they were probably the one you were developing to be the next you and they grew tired of waiting. Being a leader means you don’t take it personal. You wish them well, move on, grow from the experience and go back to empowering and building. 

Dissent will have many impacts on a business, but you are looking for open communication and an emotional intelligence that will build upon the belief of a positive end result not only for your business, but your business’s reputation and culture. Leading by example is not always enough, but leading with the courage to change your personal dynamic can be. Leadership and dissent should be the hallmark of a stores’ success. If you aren’t growing through differing ideas, then no one else will.

Impersonator

The other day I was thinking about what was next on the horizon for me and it got me thinking about what I don’t ever want to be…an impersonator. I have witnessed many of these disappointments in my career. What do I mean by impersonator? I’m talking about co-workers or bosses with highly regarded reputations, but upon getting to actually know them…they resemble a sad display of humanity. You better sit down. This is about getting something off my chest. Something that needed to be said a long time ago. 

I always wonder how these types of people get to their current level? Why are organizational leaders not seeing through the masks they wear? Is it me? Do I not see the qualities that have made them who they are? Am I just not that open-minded or accepting? Do I hold myself to a different standard? Are my expectations of positive leadership on a different level? Maybe?

I once knew a manager who was a peer of mine. I was envious of her. She was the beacon of company culture and everyone thought she was the greatest thing since sliced bread, myself included…until she was my boss. The intrigue slowly fizzled the more I got to know her and this vision I had had of who she was left little to be desired.

She wasn’t a walk-the-talk type of manager. She may have been when she was trying to prove herself; when she first started out, but things change. Oftentimes she spoke highly of people to their face, but behind closed doors was nothing but a junior high school girl gossiping and putting people down. As a subordinate listening to her speak so horribly of people, I often left disgusted and wondering what the hell she was saying about me when I wasn’t around. This also left me wondering who else was engaging her in these discussions peppering her ego to protect themselves. I never agreed with what she said. Probably why we stopped getting along.

Maybe I was a bit jealous of her success. (I will admit that), but she never came across as a person I would want as a mentor or a leader I wanted to follow. Why did everyone else? I became frustrated and defeated in my position. I wanted to change things for the better and be allowed to think outside the box. Manage my business the way it needed to be not how people hundreds of miles away wanted it to be. It was a success and my people were successful, yet she made me feel like a bottom dweller. She constantly put me down, made me feel inferior and never had a positive thing to say. She loved putting me in my place and embarrassing me in front of others. Of course she would never admit that. After fighting too long for my sanity, I quit. I got out as fast as I could and never looked back.

Reflecting back on what transpired, I probably would have done things differently, but at the time I felt I had nowhere to go and no one to trust with how I was feeling. Those that witnessed this frustration, never would have supported me out in the open. It was a sad state of affairs and a true testament to the world of retail. It just goes to show you can never fully trust the people you have lifted up. Those you have surrounded yourself with. Those you thought had your back. It’s all about politics. The what’s in it for me mentality? The what image should I have to impress not the what strengths do I have that impress and empower mentality? Right from wrong.

Imposters are people we don’t speak about in normal conversations. People are always trying to protect themselves. Don’t you think it's time for a change? Retail needs all the help it can get right now. Wouldn’t you agree? I write this now because enough time has passed, and I have come to grips with the person I am and the person I want to be. I have no patience for games. I will not stand by and allow politics to play a more significant role than growth of my people or the belief in said people. I only wish I would have had the courage back then to say these things to the people who mattered. Would they have listened? Perhaps I never would have left a job I loved or perhaps I would have been slowly coached out of a job for having an opinion about someone so loved. Whatever the case, the past is the past. I know my truth. I hope you do.

It's A Jungle Out There

A store manager was forced to quit because a first impression wasn’t received well during a visit.

The truth is that this manager had everything going for himself. A successful business that was beating plan. He had a strong team which included several promotions from within. He, himself, embraced the culture and lead by example. Then why was he worth the risk of a possible termination?

The answer is politics. It is everywhere in the retail world. Do you look the part? Act the part? Blend in? Adhere to a stores culture? Does your store reflect a “family” atmosphere? Is there tension amongst the team? Have you put everything out there to be the best? Does your team reflect a great store dynamic? Are you a difficult employee to manage due to your ideas? Are you a threat? Where are your loyalties? 

So many things to think about when running a store and so many decisions to make that will reflect your character and position within a company. How do you manage it? How do you become the person THEY want you to be? I’d like to say you don’t, but that would be hypocritical of me. BUT you can mesh your management style with the image they want you to uphold. Believe me I have been there. This story, though offensive, did not surprise me. Unfortunately, I have been on the side that HAD to let a strong person go against my better judgement. It was hard, but I couldn’t let my position be the next cause for concern.  

At least that is what I always tell myself and others who approach the topic with me. It really pissed me off having to take part in the game. Being a store leader is a hard job and how you handle yourself on the job is the hardest part of all. People will view you however they want to view you whether it is in a way you want them too or not. Everyone has varying opinions on your reputation. One decision can make all the difference. In this situation, the manager chose to not to shine. It was a surprise visit and he wasn’t prepared to answer questions. He wasn’t dressed in dress code nor did he show a skillset the director needed to see to have faith in his abilities as a store leader. He failed to play the role he was hired to do. He failed to be his best self. He took his strong business for granted and was forced out of a company he loved being a part of.

It’s a jungle out there. A dog-eat-dog world. As managers, we cannot pretend to know it all, we NEED to know it all and be ready for whatever is thrown at us at any given time. One slip up and your reputation is gone. No amount of positive increases, positive reviews or beautiful merchandising will change a negative mark on an authorities list. So how can you compete with an idea that your fate can be decided at first glance? The answer…DON’T BE NAIVE. Know that you are always under a microscope. You are being watched and analyzed at every waking moment. Never be ill-prepared at the start of a day. Make sure your team knows everything that you do. Make sure THEY are prepared. Make sure they are prepared for the unknown and why you are preparing them. Protect your abilities by leading by example. Don’t give anyone the opportunity to not see you in the light you deserve. It’s the only way to survive. 

Elephant In The Room

How do we get over the stigmatism of “bad manager”? I have heard so many people say they quit their jobs due to poor management. This makes me so mad because it is easy to be a good manager. Everyone has differing opinions on the matter. What I have heard as reasons for employees leaving good companies is the following:

“They never listened to me.”

“They always scheduled me outside my availability.”

“They never worked on the sales floor.”

“They were always gossiping.”

“They treated me like dirt.”

I am not saying that I was a perfect manager, I had my faults too, but I did respect my people for their hard work. Is it really that hard to hold a conversation with someone nowadays? I am hearing it is. So why do managers struggle? 

Laziness. Yep, I said it!

When employees move up the ranks to become “the boss”, they often forget how they got there and what it was like to fight the battle. It is not leadership to reach the next rung of a ladder and treat your people the way you hated to be treated. Leadership, or should I say, positive leadership, means you need to embrace the good fight and nurture those around you to be the best versions of themselves. It takes a lot of work. You have to pick and choose your battles. Taking a break when you get to the top shouldn’t be in the cards. You should never feel comfortable.

Oftentimes when we are managing our businesses, we put tasks ahead of common sense. What do I mean by that? We always have a typical week that is full of processes, tb’s with upper level management and to do lists that seem never-ending. Why is it that you can’t make your people part of the lists? Seems pretty simple…My favorite part of the day, even when I was on empty from working crazy hours, was my impromptu one-on-ones with my people. They may never have known how much hearing about their day was important to me, but it was always a motivating force that I held close to my heart. It kept me going. 

Running a business is hard. It takes mad skills to not feel like you failed in some way. Why would you ever want to hear that the one thing you truly failed at was your people? It doesn’t matter if your business is hitting double-digit comps or your store is visually inspiring if your people keep leaving! Your people are the most important part. They are the reputation of not only your business in the community, but the brand image and reflection of you as manager or business owner. It is important to address these issues with your team. Usually, you will have a gut feeling. If you have never felt that feeling, then there are other things to address within yourself. No one is the perfect boss. Don’t ever think you are, but you should always inspire to be one.

Sense of Self

To be a strong leader or role model you need to check your ego at the door. A strong sense of self in order to celebrate the successes of those you work with. It seems like a no brainer, but in reality, think of all the people that you have worked for that didn’t have that mentality engrained in their leadership style. It probably became a toxic work place and lacked any one person who stood out as a mentor. Am I right?

Mentors are needed in today’s environment. Recently I have been communicating with an incredible woman that I met on LinkedIn Julie Stonehouse-Daradics. She made the comment:

“Gone are the days when we are impressed with people who are impressed with themselves.”

I bring this topic up in regard to the continued conversation of making your stores or businesses a positive environment where people want to work for you. As a manager it should be a daily goal to make an impact on those around you. I am not saying you have to be a beacon of influence with every word or action, but you should want to set an example of one. Good lord people! Wake up! The society of “me” needs to change. The selfish mentality of “my success”, as opposed to “our success” should be the cornerstone of any successful business and tenured team. The two go hand-in-hand.

If you haven’t yet observed an employee, you trained…train another with their own twist from your coaching, then you have yet to feel a strong sense of self. This epiphany will bring such a sense of accomplishment and confidence to your leadership that you will be driven to see it again and again forcing others to embrace this frame of mind as well. A long-term goal would be to see a pattern within your stores hierarchy.

To get the wheels turning, let’s go back to managing the schedule. I know it seems like a jump from a philosophy to a task, but in reality, you have the power to transform your team into a positive force for overall success. Changing the MY to OUR with something as simple as how they are scheduled. Great leaders see strengths in people before people see it in themselves. This in turn manifests a certain skillset that only a tenured team can understand if tested consistently.

The prior blog post “Building Blocks” was about testing out your teams through scheduling to achieve business success based on the right partnerships. This post continues that example by using those partnerships into a typical week routine to achieve success of tenure and accountability. Sit down with your management team and go over all the tasks that need to be achieved on a weekly basis. Divide them into operations and merchandising. You cannot have a strong business without a routine scheduled around these two responsibilities.

Depending on the size of your business and management team, you should know your employee’s strengths and opportunities. The goal is always how to get the most done in the least amount of time, so the primary focus can be on your customers. Here is where the building blocks fall into place. Schedule to peoples’ passions. This includes support from a sales team. When you have specific people doing things they love, they want to share with others, therefore beginning a mentor program that adds efficiency, bench strength and employees open to more responsibility.

When you have the right people working together at the same times every week to accomplish specific goals, a well-oiled machine ensues. Your store will begin to run by itself so, you as the business leader, can focus on other obligations…EMPLOYEE DEVELOPMENT! Your primary responsibility! This will not happen overnight. Remember, you have to test it out over a period of time to see what works and what doesn’t. Believe me, it is worth it in the end.

No Exit

Have you ever dreamed of an exit, but haven't been able to find one nor had the courage to want to? Why are you staying in a position that is causing you to fantasize of somewhere else? Don't we owe it to ourselves to love what we do? Don't we owe it to ourselves to be surrounded by people who support us, believe in us and most of all challenge us?

“I wish I could just leave.” Said many.

If you can’t do anything to make your job life better then you have the power to leave it behind. 

But first… Ask yourselves these questions:

1. Am I doing everything in my power to be a better employee? Am I empowering those around me to be stronger? Am I invested in the well-being of those I manage?
2. What is making me feel this way? Have I spoken to anyone about my feelings? Are my feelings shared by others around me?
3. What have I done lately to contribute to the environment? Have I developed anyone? Have I exceeded a customer’s expectations? Have I exceeded an employee’s expectations?

I bring this up because it takes a lot to start over somewhere else. It is a job itself to find something new. I have found that many are just not putting forth an effort to make their jobs meaningful. They have grandiose expectations of what they should be doing without the mindset to actually achieve those expectations.

Everyday should be a learning experience, if you aren’t learning something about yourself or those around you, then by all means…find an exit. You aren’t doing anyone any favors by sabotaging their success and you sure aren’t doing yourself any good by not being the best you can be.

I have been there. It is a hard decision to make. You have a million different thought processes going on in your head. To actually come to the conclusion that there is nothing more you can do to mentally be happy in your job environment takes a lot of guts to admit to oneself. I am not talking about living on the offered salary or tired of the work load. I am talking about exhausting EVERY avenue and weighing its consequences on you, your team and the business itself. It is not easy. What you do in the end affects the entire business and YOU have to be ok with that. That is a huge burden to take on and one that you will live with. I think for this reason alone is why people stay in their jobs for so long. If you are feeling the desire to move on go back the questions I posed earlier. It will determine whether or not this decision is right for you.

Only As Strong

One thing I know to be true…you are only as strong as those around you.  Your people compliment you, challenge you and more importantly build the stepping stones to your management and leadership style. When managing stores, this is the only constant I have ever wanted to achieve.

Managing can be chaotic and challenging. 

• Why has it been so hard to attract the talent needed to achieve this team dynamic?
• Why is it so hard to fathom the training justifications behind this concept?
• Are managers afraid to find candidates that challenge them? 
• Are managers under too much pressure to fill roles? 
• Are managers putting too much time constraints on training opportunities?

Just a few questions I wish I could answer, but honestly, it isn’t up to me to determine the why’s, only how I did it. It wasn’t an overnight thing. It took a long time for me to trust myself and my ego. Will they turn out better than me? Get promoted faster? Get recognized by people you only dream of noticing you? Ego. Time to get it over it if you want a successful store.

Know what you are missing on your team. I wrote before of the trifecta. The perfect balance of skillset and the beginning of bench strength. You need these things in your stores to be productive. When you realize what’s missing, you need to go out there and find the missing pieces, train them and develop them. Find your you. Find the ones that may have more experience, but lacked a mentor. Find someone who is the opposite of you and learn from their mindset. The point is to not be afraid. Don’t feel rushed. Upper level management may pressure you to find a candidate, but remember, it’s your store. Only you know what works and what doesn’t work.

I have made that mistake before. I relied on upper level management to dictate my needs and the result was a disaster. Never again. I was playing politics and it nearly destroyed my management style and my management team. You also have to remember training takes time. Everyone is different. Sometimes people’s learning abilities are harder to develop. You need to learn patience and self-control. You can’t force people to master what you already know in a short period of time. It is up to you as a manager to determine how to best manage this important time. Remember to look around you. Who is best at ABC? An operations specialist shouldn’t train a new hire on merchandising. A short-tempered key holder should not train anyone on how to use the registers. Someone who processes shipment probably isn’t the best person to train on fitting room selling. I know that this all seems straight forward, but store managers work with what they have. Who is working when. The schedule says… so they do.

This is a failure in utilizing your people’s skills and abilities. It gets you nowhere and takes a toll on your teams’ character and most of all your reputation as a leader. Remember, you are only as strong as those around you. If they aren’t being empowered to grow, you might as well find something else to do. You will experience a turn style of lack luster employees and spend most of your time interviewing prospects instead of developing your teams. You will be fighting a never-ending battle of personalities and time wasters. Don’t fall into that hole. Take the time to find the missing pieces of your vision. 

Battle Tested

It’s true. I am. You are. We have been through it all. We have made good and bad decisions. Good and bad mistakes. We have fought an uphill battle and survived. We have fought a downhill battle and made it through without failure. We have failed. We have learned. We have grown.

Does this sound familiar? It should. Most managers have gone through it. If you haven’t then your time will come and it won’t be easy. No amount of ass kissing or trying to talk your way out of things will make a difference. You will be pushed to the limit. Stretched thin and lastly you will cower to an unwavering boss that thinks you deserve it because they think so. It sucks, but believe me, you will survive. It will define who you are as a manager, a leader and more importantly…a person.

Pretty dramatic? I know. I am battle tested. I have been there. At some point, you have to ask yourself whether or not this is something that you can live with. Are these decisions worth the time you spent solving the problem and not receiving credit? Are the hours away from your personal life worth the rungs on the ladder climbed to succeed worth the mindset that you deserve. Are the angry entitlements of your direct reports back stabbing you whenever they get a chance not knowing you hear everything worth the silence it takes to help them grow into better people worth it?

I asked myself these things everyday throughout my career. I had sleepless nights pondering what I could do to just make everything copasetic. Make my environment a bit more manageable. Coerce those around me to drink the Kool-Aid and jump on board someone else’s vison train. I hated the politics. I REALLY hated the politics. It almost destroyed me, but you know want? It made me the person I am today. I don’t care about that shit anymore. I care about you and helping those of you get through it. Like I did for 27 years.

Too old. Too opinionated. Soften yourself. Too masculine. Too soft. Too compassionate. Not compassionate enough. Handle change. Lead change. Bring about change. Don’t change. It is enough to make you sick. It did. It made me sick. Panic attacks. I was pushed, prodded and driven to levels of hell I never thought I’d see, but I survived it. Grew from it. Inspired a new sense of self from it. That is what it means to be battle tested, at least to me.

I’d like to think I made some type of difference in the lives of those I worked with. I hear I did. I watch them in their careers now and believe the insanity that we went through together meant something to them. It did to me. I am in a reflective state of mind these days trying to figure out my next adventure. I am not sure what that is exactly, but I do know I need to make a difference. I need to share my experiences. I want to believe in the abilities of people and push them toward growth. I know those things to be true. The world is changing. People care less about each other and more about themselves and how everything affects them. A selfish mentality that has made managing people harder than it has ever been. Why? What has changed? What will it take to make people like people again? 

Memory

               “She remembered who she was and the game changed.”  -Lalah Deliah                                                                                                                           

I read this the other day and It felt so fitting in regard to who I am and what I am doing with my life. It hit me right in the heart and it was just what I needed to persevere and keep going. I have been struggling. I am not sleeping. Not eating right. Drinking too much. Asking myself if I am creating value? Am I being all that I can be? Am I going to make it? Self-Doubt. I have been wallowing in it.

I didn’t set out in the world to try and change it, but I did set out in the world to try and gain and share insight. I wanted to be able to do something for a change. Be something I knew I could be without any restrictions. Be myself without someone telling me no or that’s not how we do things. Be someone who wasn’t fighting for every idea or belief. I lost faith in my power. My passion. My abilities. I lost faith in myself.

Working in retail can take a toll on you, your relationships and most of all, your teams. One piece of negative feedback can discourage you from remembering 100 positive ones. At least that’s how I always felt. I was working 70 hour weeks when I left my job a little over 1 year ago. It was killing me, but I always remembered how I got there and who got me to where I was. I was humbled by those that I had watched grow into incredible leaders around me. Those that worked hard along side of me. Those that supported me and those that believed in my vision. It was my time.

It is because of the countless hours training and developing people that I do this. When I remembered who I was, I said no to the negativity and politics and decided to begin again.  Wake from the monotony of going through the motions. Make an impact. Build teams to be strong and capable. Care.

If my memory serves me right…it really is up to you to do something. If I can.......... 

A Passion

I am not here to throw anyone under the bus, but managers today need to WAKE UP! I am often asked “why do you do the things you do?” Meaning...why did I decide to quit my career and focus entirely on mentoring. The answer is I have a passion for people, processes and a belief that one holds the power to have a positive influence on others. 

I have had a rollercoaster of a career. I loved every position I have held and every person I have met, developed or observed along the way. I have been pushed, challenged and mentally exhausted from the ride. Why???  Working for someone that doesn’t believe in you or share your same passion for people is detrimental. It destroys any chance of growth, inspiration and positive results. Teams need mentoring, leadership, strong belief in purpose and an overall understanding that they will be supported. Only then will anyone see success in themselves, their stores and their people.

I left a job I loved almost a year ago because I felt trapped. I had nowhere to go to communicate frustration and no one I could trust to keep me motivated. Politics play heavy roles in our work life today (not talking about government politics here). People want to work for friends not bosses. Peers not leaders. No wonder why employees feel lost and abandoned. Too many cliques and too many abstract circumstances. No one is around to help navigate through problems. If by some odd chance they are, they lack the courage to help in fear of being coached out of a job for not playing the part of the cultures status quo. It is a sad state of affairs and one we need to continue to shed light on.

I hear from people on a regular basis that they are afraid to voice opinions. They are afraid to challenge and speak up about concerns they may be having. They have ideas about how to make the environment in-store better. They want to help make people more engaged. It really breaks my heart. Trust. Does it even exist anymore? I am not talking about confidants and keeping secrets. I am talking about listening to your employee’s feedback and having the bravery to do something with it.

I was on twitter the other day when @theclopener commented on a post of mine:

                        “Every time an employee gives feedback, a middle manager absorbs

                         its power and grows stronger. But only if they ignore it.”

Think about that for a second. I do not know who @theclopener is or where they work, but I do know the he/she has a point. Many managers take feedback from direct supports, peers or home office on a daily basis. The problem is they keep it inside and either make changes on their own without admitting to the feedback or ignore it completely and go on with their day. Feedback is always positive whether you are getting reprimanded or not. It is there to help you change for the better, make improved decisions, and garner a stronger self-managerial image. It can suck, but you need to think about the feedback itself. It came from somewhere. Usually, it comes from your team.

It is up to you to become the leader you want to be. It isn’t up to anyone else. You define your actions. Your superiors are there help shape those actions. If they aren’t…choose who YOU want to be and where your passion will follow. 

Mantra

Over the years, I have found a saying I learned while working for Gap that has stuck with me. OWN IT. DO IT. DONE. I interpret it as follows:

**Own what you do. Believe that anything is possible,

**Do it to the best of your abilities and challenge yourself to be better.

 **Done. Accomplish your tasks, learn from them and share your experiences with others.

These 5 words have followed me everywhere in my career. I wish I could remember the original mindset taught to me while I was with Gap, but I like to think the it was meant to change along with you and metamorphosis into what you want it to be. I know I have shared the words with many throughout the years.

I often ask people what they say over and over in their minds to keep them going. What do they say to themselves to keep motivated through good times and bad? I have found that many share the same mantra. The value I take from that is that everyone works hard and believes in themselves. A no brainer. Especially when no one else does. The word fighter is something I have heard a lot in my day. I am. I fight for the right to think for myself and support others. This may sound crass and a bit harsh, but I have experienced a lot of haters out there. I never understood why. If my business is successful and my team is tenured and my customers keep coming back, why am I constantly being penalized for standing up for myself, my processes or my teams?

Maybe it was the MY in that last statement. I always loved to try things differently from the rest. After all, I had been managing stores for a very long time and had experienced many different scenarios. Some processes work and others don’t work as well. I personally like the ones that work and work for the better. This attitude often brought on problems with superiors. Again, why? Maybe because it wasn’t what everyone else was doing. Maybe it was because they never believed in me. Maybe it was considered a threat to the status quo. Not sure. I am not saying to be a fighter, but we all have incredible ideas. It is important that we don’t let them disappear because we may not feel comfortable in how others may take that idea. This happens too often and frankly I am sick of it. Aren’t you?

At any given time, we have the innate ability to own our problems, our issues, our behaviors and finally our legacy. We get to own the processes we put in place to lead, to generate strength and to fulfill promises we made to our teams. Our legacy should be to finish with grace, respect and fortitude. This is a mantra I share with all of you. Be you. Embrace new ideas. Don’t be frightened by the idea that you may not be in the right or your idea may fail in action. We learn from experiences and grow from them no matter what the outcome. Own up to you.

Choose Your Own Adventure

One of my favorite book series I loved to read growing up was the "Choose Your Own Adventure" stories by Edward Packard. It opened my mind to variety of scenarios and gave me the ability to explore adventures with different outcomes.

The memory of these books brings to mind, don't laugh, our current state of retail. An interesting observation, right? As managers, we have the ability to choose many different paths each day. Although there are only 24 hours in a day, those 24 hours can have immediate impact on a single course of action. Albeit, employee development, store appearance, customer interactions, operational systems…you get the picture. It is up to you to determine what kind of impact you are going to make.

I know there are many critics out there saying retail is struggling to survive, but I see it prospering everywhere I go, the problem isn’t stores in general, new stores and small businesses open every day, its people. People are the problem. Managers, YOU are choosing the wrong adventure.

I find that there are two types of managers. Those that can and don’t vs. those that do and choose. All managers have the ability to be successful, but something happens along the way that takes a mindset from a passion to lead to a safe mentality. That something, is usually a wrong decision made either by a superior that affected them poorly or a decision made internally that brought on a negative result. The can and don’ts come from this error in judgement. These managers go with a popular decision process. One that will be accepted to maintain a level of consistency. I am not saying that this is wrong or unsuccessful, but it can become comfortable and underwhelming.

The do and choose are the managers that do whatever it takes and choose not to give up on making a difference. We need more of this type in the business world. Managers that choose to stand out in a crowd and go against the grain in terms of process and people are ones that are always looking for that next adventure. They make unpopular decisions, mistakes and end up being put in an outcast category. Oftentimes their paths are rocky, stressful and a battleground of what if’s. What makes this type of manager interesting is that their decisions and mistakes often bring prosperous results, tenured teams and desired organizational strategies.

Unfortunately, these managers never seem to last long in organizations. WHY?? Wouldn’t it be wise to choose the adventure of rocky paths and individuality over the path of knowing the outcome? Wouldn’t it be wise to choose the manager that isn’t afraid of making a mistake? Wouldn’t it make better sense to choose an adventure that changes the mindset and opens the door to new possibilities? Something needs to change. The store environments we walk into today are filled with disgruntled employees, comfortable employees, lost employees and more importantly, employees ignoring customers because YOU choose the wrong approaches in your leadership style every day. Retail isn’t dying. The successful businesses have grown from their mistakes and prospered. The do and choose managers have opened their own stores and are leading the way in making a difference in communities because the can and don'ts have given them no other choice. It's up to you to choose your next adventure. Choose wisely. Your businesses are depending on you to make the right decision.

Longevity

I had the privilege of planning my parents 60th wedding anniversary party with my sister last week. The party planning itself took a few months, but the result was more than I could have ever imagined. Forty-two people came to celebrate my parents and one person had known my father for 75 years. He was the best man in their wedding. WOW! The party itself also made me think about spending 60 years with one person and the kind of dedication, openness and appreciation that requires. The give and take. The adjustments. The trust. Being the person I am and doing what I do, the monumental achievement had me also thinking about my career and what longevity has done for me.

Tenure is a crazy thing today. I never thought I would see people with one year at one company as longevity. I used to call that “job hopping” when looking at resumes and applications, now it is the new norm. I don’t understand why that is and it has forced me to ask some tough internal questions about those companies and most of all the management responsible for those employees. I am not perfect. I had people come and go throughout my career, but I also had some strong employees that stuck with me and the company through thick and thin. Years, in fact.

How? We learned each other’s strengths and opportunities, could finish each other’s sentences and most of all we learned through trial and error how to make our stores successful. This is not something you develop in less than one year. Sure, you can make dramatic changes that increase sales, but maintaining strong momentum over time and creating a positive reputation in the community takes longevity. That my friends is where managing with purpose comes in.

If you are a store manager, district manager or small business owner that has a lot of turn over, you need to ask yourself some hard questions. You can never control pay or payroll for that matter. You can only control your actions. Sure, money can make the world go around and life a little easier, but lack luster environments can make the higher pay scheme a terrible decision to an employee. More importantly, the question you need to ask yourself is: “Why are they looking in the first place?” From there, you need have an honest conversation with that employee. Put pride on the back burner and listen to what he/she has to say. It could be you. Maybe you aren’t the manager you thought you were. Maybe you aren’t providing a challenging environment for them. Maybe your processes need improvement. The point is…learn from them so that the next employee stays and grows with you.

My management philosophy has always been to be a manager that I always wanted. Sounds simple enough, but I took my own complaints and needs and put them to work developing my own style. I took the idea that I didn’t need to be loved, but I needed to be respected. I have high expectations and demand people to do their best at all times. I lead by example and am tough on those that don’t recognize their true potential. Delegation is key and being a chameleon to each employee has never ending possibilities for tenure. Your actions as a leader are the future of your store’s success. The saying, I am paraphrasing here, that people don’t leave companies, they leave people is so true whether you like to think that or not. It is up to you and only you to provide a nurturing environment where your employees can feel empowered and compelled to stay. It is up to you to hire the right people that fit your mind set and the right people who will challenge your mind set. It is up to you to develop a core staff and build a support system that allows everyone to grow and learn something new every day. Find a mantra and stick with it, grow from it and encourage it. Don't rely on a company's culture to keep employees, be a manager that people want to work for.

Growth

What does this word mean to you? To me, there is growth in position and growth in mental abilities. Both are needed in order to have a successful team and business. I am not just referring to your people, but also to you as a leader. Over the years I have watched peers and employees grow into incredible leaders, business owners and vibrant members of the community. I myself have grown tremendously from what I would say was a strange and crazy trip from the years 18-the present. Who I WAS definitely has shaped who I AM. The struggles I went through have helped define who I have become as a manager, a boss and now a business owner.

When I was 23 I was promoted to store manager of my first store. YES…23! I find that to be an unusual fact about my management career (although now that doesn’t seem so weird to others).  I was fresh out of college and my boss left to have a baby. I think back to that person I was at the time. A 90’s club kid. If you don’t know what that means believe me…I shouldn’t have been running a multi-million dollar business, but I did so with determination to be the best store manager I could be. I soaked up all the knowledge and advice I could get.

“Someone believed in me and gave me the opportunity. They knew I could be molded into what they needed me to be and grow into the position they saw for me.”

–Me, at 23, becoming a SM for the first time.

Think about that for a second and ask yourselves, when was the last time you hired someone or promoted someone with this idea in mind? The idea that there was a spark in someone and YOU wanted to develop it so that person could meet their true potential and grow into a manager that you knew they could become. This has now become one of my favorite management style traits. It leads me to the best part of being a manager…developing 

My favorite position on a management team will always be… manager–in-training or key holder or sales/team lead or department manager.  Whatever you want to call it, they all mean the same thing, a developmental managerial role with keys. You have the chance to mold someone into a position that they themselves didn’t know they had in them. It is a position that reflects a spark you, as their leader and mentor, saw in them. It is a position that allows them to explore what type of manager they want to become. It is often the first time they have ever had a lot of responsibility and definitely the first time they have ever managed people. I like to observe how they handle the first day of responsibility and go from there by asking a series of questions in my mind. Will they become power hungry? Will they become an associates’ confidant? Will they embrace a way of thinking and become a leader? How will they handle a tough situation? What type of direction will they give? When will they realize that they are in charge and have to make decisions? It is at that time that spark happens in them. They either love it or hate it. When I see it, I start the development process and steer them in the direction that makes sense to them. There is no forced training plan or process, just an open mind to learn.

The same goes for any person new to a role. Everyone handles their new responsibility differently. It is important not to hinder their growth through trying to get them to learn the way you did. I have talked about being a chameleon before and now it is more important than ever. Your management training abilities have to be on point or you may lose that spark that originally got them there in the first place. No one wants that. No one wants to start over. No one wants to feel like they failed someone. This is how you grow as a manager and into a leader that can respected. An accomplishment that means something. 

Experience Does Matter

Through the years I have heard these words from upper level management or hiring managers “your experience doesn’t necessarily matter, how you adapt to the culture and earn our respect does.” Really? I always struggled with holding my emotions in check when that phrase was uttered. I found it fascinating to hear. Maybe I was too old or not the right look or over qualified or too opinionated or overzealous in decision making. Excuses. That is what they are. Whatever it was, it dampened my passion to be the best I could be and I don’t want it to happen to you. At the end of the day I never had an unsuccessful store or team. That must mean something…right?

I find that people are afraid of experience. They are afraid of people who may know more about topics then they do. I always found the opposite true. Experience is the cornerstone of any successful business.  Why? Because you have experienced several different scenarios at several different levels while trying new approaches through trial and error. Why wouldn’t that be considered a plus or at least a determination to want to know more?

While perusing through applications/resumes for the hiring of certain positions, I always looked to those applicants that had layers to their careers. I never was afraid to talk to them nor intimidated by their level of expertise. I always knew that they may not be affordable, but I would try my hardest to sell them on the company and the culture. Lord knows I have taken some pay cuts to acquire a position I felt passionately about. But not everyone is willing to do the same. It has to make sense and people need to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. After all you are not only interviewing the candidate, they are interviewing you and the company as well.

I am hoping that through writing about this that somehow, somewhere someone will figure out that experience does matter. Think about it…You are bringing a candidate on board that’s only focus for you would be sales generation and people development. Why wouldn’t you want that? Of course, they would have to learn the ins and outs of the company, but in reality, everything you dream of for an employee is already there. You need to let them run with it and watch them take the lead, grow the business and build a positive reputation with your customer base. Managers need to put their pride on the back burner and focus on the gifts of the people that sit in front of them. I get it… in this day and age, a person needs to fit the culture of the business, but isn’t that something that can be adapted as the employee works day-by-day and side-by-side other employees and customers? Wouldn’t you much rather have a person in place that already gets it? Wouldn’t you then want that person to build you up and make you look good? The next time you are interviewing or writing a performance appraisal, think about the word experience in relation to that person. If you can’t think of scenarios that match their abilities, you aren’t doing your job.

Be the Position You Want To Be

The biggest issue we have as managers is having the people in place who are ready for the next level, but they have no place to go. Am I right? At least in my experience, I have had incredible employees ready for the next step with no promotion in the near future. I guess I was lucky. Lucky, to have tenured teams, but it was always hard to watch them sit in the same position over time with nowhere to go.  I always told them to “be the position you want to have and adopt it as a daily state of mind.” It is never easy to have that kind of strength without push back from the employee saying that if “I am doing the position, why can’t I get paid for that position?” Good question…BUT the answer is always because the position doesn’t exist. “Stay with me here. Be patient. It WILL happen.”

Sometimes you have people in position that think they are ready for the next step, but in reality, they are not quite there yet. You have to ask yourself the following questions when reacting to their request:

1. Are they a respected leader in the store? Do employees come to them with questions? Are   they answering these questions correctly?
2. Are they leading by example in regard to policy, operations, and process efficiencies?
3. Can they answer questions that a higher-level manager usually answers without a higher-level manager interfering?
4. Are they self-sufficient or do they need to be given daily direction?
5. Have they instilled a work ethic among employees that others what to mirror?
6. Has the store incorporated processes that this person has envisioned in regard to their division of responsibility
7. How is their customer service? How do they react under pressure? Do customers love to see them in the store when they shop?
8. Lastly, are they getting noticed by district or regional level managers? Are your superiors asking about them in touch bases.

If you are able to answer any of these questions with undeniable evidence and your store has been generating positive sales with their help, then they are ready. Now the advanced training and development begins. It is now up to you to keep them challenged. You don’t want to lose them to another retailer. I recommend sitting down with them and the person who has the position they want and having a conversation about needs and wants. Then as a team develop a training plan to get them to the next level. The best part about this philosophy is that the person in the current position, with your guidance, does the training. It pushes both employees to be better and encourages a teamwork and empowering environment.

This is what keeps people. People don’t necessarily leave stores because they are unhappy, they leave because they aren’t challenged by their leaders. They become bored and stagnant and want to move on to bigger and better things. You don’t want that. Your store needs a core staff to continue to be successful. Customers want to see familiar faces. My advice to all of you out there with a person(s) up to the challenge…Do whatever it takes to keep them. Money is never an option. Especially in this retail environment. You have to make them see that and still want to be a part of your team. You need to be creative and push yourself to be better. You need to be a leader everyone wants to work for. This fact takes patience, accountability, strong communication and delegation. It also takes a mentality that your people may be more capable than you ever imagined and reach a level that inspires you. The end result is to watch people grow and to be proud of what you have accomplished in regard to your stores’ business. After all, isn’t that why we do this?